The Ghost of Christmas Past

How to Spot a Ghost of Christmas Past:

Ghosts love the holidays, so you will likely find the Ghost right next to the Joyologist helping them string the lights and put the star on the tree. They may even be wearing a light-up Christmas necklace or elf ears that a Joyologist just handed them. They’ve just grown a little threadbare and their holiday spirit has lost its sparkle.

The woman you’ve seen near closing time at the mall or grocery store with yesterday’s “Mom Bun” who looks in need of a nap is probably a Ghost of Christmas Past. She’s likely cramming in some last minute shopping for a plethora of items…from craft supplies for the school party, gift cards for the holiday gift exchanges (all 5 of them), to cookie ingredients… and unfortunately it all has to get done tonight because she kept putting it all off and everything’s due tomorrow!

Traits:

All of the gift giving during the holidays can seem overwhelming because Ghosts might not be naturally drawn to giving gifts as a way to connect, so the pressure of finding something for so many people in their lives can seem like a chore. They’re tired and have lost their holiday spark. You see, they used to put the lights up on the porch and hang the mistletoe, but they’ve taken it all down by themselves come January a few too many times.

And, they are a little bit disillusioned…they don’t want another Snuggie or pair of holiday socks but they don’t know how to tell you without hurting your feelings.

Challenges:

Ghosts of Christmas Past can very easily fall victim to: Shuffling through Wal-mart in their bathrobe on Christmas Eve looking like a deranged zombie, shoving last-minute stocking stuffers in their cart.

Tips:

Tap into some holiday cheer by remembering what you originally loved about the holidays and find a way to connect to that again in a more easeful way.

You don’t have to do it the way it’s always been done. You actually don’t have to do any of it at all! Did you catch that? You don’t have to do anything that doesn’t work for you.

Implement New Healthier Boundaries:

• When dealing with requests for the valuable resources like your time, money and energy, “No” is an important word. This can be scary for a Ghost because you don’t want to let anyone down or disappoint but “No” can flow from your lips and sound like:

  “That sounds amazing but my schedule doesn’t allow for it” or

  “I really would love to, but I’ll be hibernating at that time.”

  No apologizing. No explaining.

• Practice saying “Yes” ONLY to what feels good for you and what remains will be things you feel connected to and excited about and you won’t be tempted to procrastinate and cause yourself stress. (We know, we’ve seen you in the grocery store, remember?)

By tapping into what’s important to YOU RIGHT NOW and only committing to those things, you will create more space, less stress and more Joy. You may even be tempted to sing Christmas Karaoke at the office party after a few glasses of punch. Joyologists don’t have to have ALL the fun!

If you have a Ghost of Christmas Past in your life:

You will love a Ghost well by encouraging healthy boundaries and then honoring them. Don’t expect them to participate in traditions just because you ask them to. It’s hard for them to say “No” sometimes because they don’t want to let you down so be mindful of their time, money and energy limits and be open to a new way of doing things that honors both of your “WHYs”.

Also, make sure you include the receipt for any cute Christmas socks you may be tempted to give them. They’ll appreciate that.